Yippeeeeee!!! I've finally gotten the NTU bursary! Woot! $800!!

Listen to dear dear, save up the money for our next 2 upcoming tours!!!

Gonna get a little something for him though. And my bro too!

Received news from "him" today that the company which "he" is attached to has transferred "him" out of the programming project. "He" will be working at the site instead, wiring up the machines.

Sucky parts : -

1. No pay rise.
2. No pay leave, no MCs allowed.
3. Shift work, i.e., "he" might be required to work during weekends.

Damn the stupid company. I feel so pissed for him.

Originally we didn't have much time together when attachment started. Now? Even lesser time spent together! Curse that company, which they so proudly declare as a MNC.

I want nothing more than just spending more time with "him".
But now, I can only just cross my fingers and pray that "he" doesn't get called back for work during weekends.

I miss "him".

wassup with the motorola mobile phone at the end of the music video? =.="'

Hi... Finally sitting down to read my survey about guys and gals in a relationship and some of the questions that are running in my tiny weeny little brain.

I have started to survey when hubby inform me that we do not need to meet every week. In a view of a girl, I find it very serious, as we use to meet everyday, which we are being force to meet only a few days a week, til we are meeting once a week. Maybe I'm really going round my hubby, but my hubby don't see the case. Have surved my first victim, Mr Alvin Wee, who is Julie's bin bin... heez...

Mr Alvin responded by using "Distance makes a heart fonded". He have question me that wont I feel tired to seeing my boyfriend every week? My respond which is similar to Ms Evelyn and Ms Julie - If we starts to stop meeting our boy means we don't like them at all. Do correct me if I'm wrong, I use to feel that I know guys very well, until I meet hubby, he is something I'm still trying to understand.

Second victim is Mr Alfred, he always quarrell with his gf over the phone. To him, sometimes meeting girlfriend there is something can they can do and cannot do, which being with friends are more casual.

Met Julie earlier, Lester have told her something, being together we have to find our comfortable breakeven point. Then both of us will be together confortably, each and every pair of couples have different level of comfortable level.

Spoken to Hubby earlier on as I'm still doing my survey he will be last and key victim for the survey. He said that girlfriend is always in contact but not friends, but the friends he goes out with are the ones he met everyday at work. I have told him that Eve, me and 2 of my colleagues are going for ice skating session, and I have question will he feel uncomfortable about it. He said that if I can find the right person that is suitable for me then he will let me go and give me my blessing.

Discuss this topic with Julie as Alvin said the same thing to her before, and we find out that the perception of guys and girls are not the same. Girls will fight for their happiness, for example, Julie have tried to sound and hint Alvin about coming back together. I have also told hubby before that I wont give up on him and our relationship if the family and committee don't accept me.

Been thinking about alot of questions that cannot be solve in my head, actually I still cannot get over the time when hubby told me that we cannot make it. He told me not to love him so much, does it means that he is already giving up on me?? Being with me is just letting me be prepare to live alone. With all the uncertainty in head, I really do not know how to work things out. Hubby is one thing I can't let go. He is very important, that's why when I ask him whether will we be together, he told me he can't maintain a relationship and chances are very slim. All these while, I do not know whether it is hint to ask me to carry on with life. He told me that if we really cannot work things out he promise himself that he will be single. Maybe the way I say it is too stressful for a guy, but today I have thought about it, if Hubby and I can't work things well, lesbianism might be a better way out for me.

Although it wont be recognise, but at least I might be happy. Then again, realising that Hubby and I do not have tomorrow are a deadly impact on me. I've been trying to avoid and throw away the idea. I thought I'll cry in the bus or at the bus stop when Hubby left to catch his bus. To my surprise, my tears flow the other way round. Tears don't flow out no matter how I squeeze but my heart is bleeding. I can't believe that I can love a guy to this extend.

Relationship is such a complicated topic, Hubby just msg back, brighten up my day alittle, he says that he will keep our relationship alive. This is all I want to hear, nothing as important as he is willing to give in to this relationship. That means all the things that seems like hint are not hint at all. Guys they can be so cool in a relationship, whereas girls, they can cry and weep and scream and die for watever reason it is.

I have joke to Julie maybe she can know Hubby and consult him about guys more when she have problems with Alvin. You see, its just a small small issue, and it can link up to so many uncertainty and questions. Underline of all from Julie and me, we are damn devoted to our relationship and don't cha try to shoo us away, we are going to stick wit ya like it or not. We will be like elephant glue, bluetac, 3M, chewing gums, scotchtape, clay, cemant, wax, gel, what ever you name it we are in for it. All the best to Alvin and Julie, all the best to Rohit and Lynn... Cheers...

Feeling extremely moody and despondent for the entire day.

Probably due to the never-ending rain which constitutes to the lousy mood.

Signing off.

Finally have the time to sit down and blog about my 1st Bintan trip with him.

We met up at my train station and headed for Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal at 8am. Bintan!!!! The sun, sand and beach galore!!!

Boarded the ferry around 11.30am, and at my insistence, we sat at the window seat. But poor "him", sea-sickness striked him about 45 mins later. Alrighty! No more ferry trips. We FLY during the next trip!!!! Yippeee!!! =P

Reached Bintan around 1pm. The resort is absolutely breathtaking! We're really staying beside the beach!!! Wanted to check in immediately and head out for the beach. But alas! It's too early to check in. Had lunch at the resort restaurant, changed into our beachwear and headed off to the beach.

The sand! So fine and soft!
The sea! Suprisingly clear and cool!

We lay on the hammock and felt the sun rays. Absolutely warming!!!!

Finally we were able to check in around 2pm.
Had a shock of my life.

The room is super duper huge!!!! *I'll add the pics later*

Went to check out the beach asap.

Had dinner at the town, seafood steamboat.
Tastes pretty good.

Went back with a full stomach and Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

I won't be blogging for the next couple of days. Going on tour tomorrow. Cool! So much stuffs to enjoy with "him". =)

Finally sitting down to write my entry, feeling so lazy recently not wanting to write anything. Yesterday went for Zouk Out, had a wonderful time with my acquaintance. Hubby, Evelynn, Emily Lim, Dawn, Adeline, Emmanuel, Melvyn, Azeme, Charlene, Emily Ng, Naveen and Justin. Jo is suppose to come with us, however her mom is sick and she need to stay home to accompany her.

Met up with my Gf, Emily and Dawn early went in to book a locker just in case, however we decided to put it with the conceirge. Went in early to look around farmiliarise the place and look at the time slot for various themes dance floors.

Had a great time at Mumbo, trying to learn the dance steps. These people are really awesome to remember almost all the songs that they play. The Mumbo Kings and Queens, heez. Hubby reach there later as he needs to do his closing and meet up with his friends. We didn't know we are in the same dance floor as he said they are at the hip hop arena, heez so blur.

Eve went home early as she is not feeling well, Dawn and I accompany her to our lobby. Its more safer to wait for a cab there thou. However Suppaiah is there, so we can't accompany her as he do not like ex staff to hang around the guest lobby.

Went back to look for hubby and was lost, he is suppose to wait for me at the same spot but he gone missing. Lucky Dawn is with me heez, my phone black out for awhile without me realising it. However there is still little energy left, msg my Hubby and they are at the arena near the entrance, so Dawn and I went to look for them and hang around there. Din't know what is going on there thou heez, but my hubby is high!! Alittle more and he is intoxicated.

Went for a bite at the food stall as he is hungry. He had a hot dog and pizza. Oh, I forgot to comment he slim down. Lucky he is still as huggable, if not I'll cry for a month and force him to eat back the 100 kg that he have lost. Haha.

Emily and Naveen came look for us and we head on back to the Mumbo Arena where they have the R&B songs coming. I'm rusty, can't really dance. The beat is so so off, and I decided to take 5 and be the camerawoman. Took alot alot alot of photos, can't load here I'm lazy don't beg me.

Aiya I can't write le very sleepy now. Gotta sleep, good night.

Fucking pissed now. Courtesy of my mom. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!

I feel nauseous... thanks to the stupid cab driver.

Feel like puking all the dinner I'd at my aunt's chalet.

Maybe I'm too used to "his" driving, feel that the cab driver's driving skills sucks to the core.

He kept accelerating and braking.

"He" doesn't drive as the cab driver thankfully.

One could even sleep while "he" is driving.

Great driving skill "he" has.

While the cab driver was testing my tolerance, I kept thinking of "him" driving.

argh!!! I must be crazy... Read my blog I wrote in the morning, I'm really crazy. Maybe its of Eve's stuff that makes me think too much. I'm not blaming that its her things that makes me think too much. Its just that My mind will wonder off, just woke up from my napping, more napping to go. I realise that I'm actually very fortunate to have him and we hit it off with the sparks. Maybe we are too use to each other that's y we will neglect each other at times. I think this is normal bah... Alright then I needa go download some songs and continue my Auditiona. Oh forgot to update everyone, I've reach Freedom Lvl 12 heez...

Yesterday, met up with Hubby and he brought me for a nice dinner at the Coffee Club in Orchard. Although its very short meeting, but I'm contended as Hubby is very tired with the overtime and stuff.

Me at work is atrocious. Tons of works is piling up as I'm rushing for the revenue report and sales report. Things happen to Victor as well, which affected all us at work. Being questioned, interrogate, spying on our computer, and they read and see what we are doing on our computer everyday to make sure we don't do things illegal. Overboard, really over the board. Had ask Hubby to ask for vacancy in reservations. I hope things will be much more simple there. This currently place, we can't stay here long as it already affects our appraisal.

I think I'm loosing grip of myself recently, really loosing grip. I feel that I'm losing Hubby, topic have decrease, I'm not update about his daily life. He don't really talk when he sees me, sms are getting lesser than what we promise we will do. He don't update me that he finish lunch that often, he don't msg me that he reach home that often and he dont msg me that he is going to bed that often. Everytime I read back the smses he sent me, I psycho myself that he is too tired, but me mind wonder off again. He likes to say no to me. No this no that. I also don't why I'm a special case, maybe he treats me like his family that's why he feel comfortable to do that, I don't know. We don't meet up that often, he don't have the urge to see me that much le. I realise I'm not that important to him. Recently, as I'm very sensitive, I realise that he don't hold me hand, we just walk our path. I feel so left out which I'll hold his everytime, I don't know whether he realise. The more he did this the more I'm alone. Sometimes I feel that everyone is closer to him than me. When I talk to Sun, i realise He is like that like that. When I talk to Jo, I realise he is like this like this. So so demoralise, can't tell him how I feel, as I feel that he will find me insensitive and he will get irritated by me. I don't know how to keep the sparks alive. I'm trying my best to keep him with me.

Yesterday, I did ask him why his face is so black. He only smile and say he is tired, so I left it. When we are parting, my big mouth pops a stupid remark which I shouldn't have said. " You can't skip your dinner, if not how you take care of me". Then he said that I'm a strong gal I can take care of myself. Oh my god, I'm so so disappointed. I'm so sad that he will say that. He no longer wanna take care of me like he use to do. I'm so confuse, very very confuse. I don't wanna lose him, means I have to live with it? Isn't there a win-win situation. I don't know how to open my stupid mouth to ask him as he will feel that I'm pulling topic for arguement. I did ask him whether can I rely on him, or I have to take care of myself. He say I have to think about this question and consider. Haiz, I already rely on him alot le, the thought that he don't wanna me to rely on me shatters me to pieces. I remembered him saying if you find the right person just go ahead, I'll support you. I don't know whether he wanna me to carry on with my life or what. The feeling that he can live without me is so scary. Its damn scary, the picture that he paint me is so scary, I don't wanna lose him. I don't wanna lose him. Someone please tell me the way of not losing him and losing myself as well. I'm not expect in this field I realise. I wanted a bright future with him, I wanna work things out with him.

Actually, when I'm writing this entry, I don't know what to expect as I do not know whether he is still reading my blog or he have better things to do. Oh well, I'll be ok I hope sent him a msg whether we are meeting, but the chances are slim. Why am I begging for this as well, let me go cry and clear my thoughts. I need to wash things up, my mind is too corrupted.

What a great start to my holidays.
I'm sick.
Aftermath of all the intensive mugging.
Sob sob...

Luckily "he" was there for me.
Lost my voice, couldn't speak.
Yet "he" understands me perfectly.
Hugged me while I slept.
"His" presence's so comforting.

Gonna meet "him" tomorrow after "his" last paper.

Can't wait to see "him" again.

LIBRA AND LIBRA COMPATIBILITY

With another Libra, you share numerous experiences, many of them beautiful. There's lots of laughter, much art and light, but not too much staying power. This relationship is good for fun and games, but where settling down is concerned, there are apt to be problems. You come down from the clouds to face everyday realities and the relationship undergoes a marked change. It can work, but it requires wisdom and maturity. The Libra woman takes marriage seriously. She takes a relationship seriously. She is not apt to be promiscuous. She wants beauty and considers you a beautiful person. You can easily hurt her. She has character. You will have to be considerate or you will lose her. You will have to be kind or you will disillusion her. If you succeed in winning her, you will have won for yourself an opportunity for peace, contentment and love.

I'm screwed. Big time.

Since I'm already online, here helping Ling to upload her video, I might as well blog.

Here goes my blog of the day:

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Haa.... Gone crazy from studying EE3001.

Damn the lecturers.

Better not let me see them driving their respective cars.

I will leave them my infamous mark on their vehicle.

Hubby have played it numerous time. Suddenly addicted to this song after he stop playing, it just stuck in my head. Oh its his friends as well... ^_^